Sep 11, 20214 min read

Do you suck at Receiving?

You might have read in my August monthly review that I was about to board my flight back to the US and realized my passports were missing. What??!!! How is this possible?

I spoke with the flight attendant and asked if I still had time to go back to the restaurant and duty-free to see if someone had found my case with our Spanish and American passports.

I panicked, my daughter cried for the 20 minutes that we ran across terminal 4 in Madrid looking for the lost passports. We arrived at the gate panting and luckily the flight attendants let us board the plane with a photo of our American passports. We made it through customs and back home with a big mess on our hands: Renew both American and Spanish passports as well as file the police reports.

I’m a good problem solver: I emailed the Spanish consulate, I downloaded all the paperwork for both passports and what I thought could be solved in a couple of hours of paperwork turned into a week-long nightmare.

By the second day, I had to call my parents – which I was avoiding because I was already feeling guilty about losing these passports, and vulnerable because “what if they had been stolen” and I did not want to be judged by my mistake or have to ask for help.–

I called them up, I asked for help. Help for filing the police report in Spain, help for calling lost and found, help for navigating this whole crazy bureaucrazy to get new passports in both countries.

If this situation would have been the reverse, I’d be the first one to give of my time and energy to help them solve this issue but now it was the other way around. I had to receive. And let me tell you, women know how to give. We know how to overgive. But we have no idea how to receive it.

Why? Because receiving is like a muscle, receiving is a practice. You use it or lose it. And most of us were never taught to use it.

We come from women who pushed away compliments.

Women who didn’t know how to ask for help.

Women who expected that life was about sacrificing for others.

Women who downplayed their abundance.

Women who never knew they had a right to receive from life.

Here’s what we were never taught: Your capacity to receive is directly related to your capacity to love yourself.

We can’t receive any more love than we have, inside, for ourselves.

And the less love we have for ourselves, the more we will feel like victims of our circumstances and not allow any abundance into our lives.

So the trick is to notice. The trick is to become aware.

No matter how open you THINK you already are...there’s ALWAYS room to open up to more: ease, flow, love, freedom, riches, joy, happiness, light, and the only limit there is to expand and receive more, is the limit YOU place on it.

How can we become more open to receiving?

Know you are enough. You are enough and we’re enough from the moment you were born. For those of you with little ones close by, look at them knowing they are enough, and then try looking with that same lens at your inner child and let her know you are enough. Before you give anything, before you receive anything, remind yourself that you are enough. The act of giving or receiving doesn’t change this at all. And you don’t need to prove anything by denying a gift or receiving it.
Becoming more discerning with giving. Learn to examine your needs, as well as the needs of others. To see when your gift is truly given from love and when it comes with expectations. To see when the expectations are self-imposed and when they come from others. Give from your heart, not from expectations or to be liked.
Making room in your life for receiving. This includes being aware of all the ways you can receive, whether it is accepting kind words, accepting a compliment, accepting someone picking up a bill for you, and accepting help. As you receive, you will be becoming more comfortable with the art of receiving.
Relax into the feeling of receiving. Practice becoming okay with the feeling of openness that is necessary to truly receive. Become aware of your capacity to receive.
Receive like a Queen. Remind yourself that receiving is fun, joyful and you can be and feel like a queen. It feels so freaking good when you gift yourself something or you allow others to gift to you. Sit in that feeling. You are deserving!

How did my story with the passports end? I’m in the process of getting new passports and not only did I receive unconditional help from my parents but I also received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from them to cheer me up. Thanks! I welcome the gift and any other abundance on its way!

How are you doing with the art of receiving? Where are you stopping yourself from receiving?

Sending much love into your life,

Tania,